Emily Ratakowski is keeping me in the Easter Spirit, even though I’ve never really been in the Easter spirit before this moment. I never really fell for trash strippers in bunny costumes, and I don’t really have great family memories of Easter, from a catholic orphanage in mexico with a molesting priest, to an obese wife who just doesn’t stop eating cake, Easter’s been pretty horrible across the board, long weekend or not…but Emily Ratakowski, the miracle worker, the hottest bitch in the game, perfection send down from Heaven, like she may be the messiah, you know Jesus after resurrected, cuz that’s the only way I can explain the religious experience that comes over me when I see her. She’s got me speaking in tongues…tongues I’d like to shove in her ass….but in a loving and caring way….maybe we’d even play some love songs while we do it.
I’m a fan. This easter bunny shit is perfect. Keep it up baby, you’re inspiring me….to masturbate.