Today, we lost a legend, and not I don’t mean Margaret Thatcher, I am talking about Aneette Funicello, the masturbation to a generation of kids who didn’t have access to porn, because porn just didn’t exist, and masturbating was reserved for doing secretly while your dead relatives watched to National Geographic or to babes in their bikinis in 1960s surf movies like Annette Funicello.
She was also Mousketeer, chosen by Walt Disney, which means she probably had sex with him, although at 13, she was probably too old for him…and now at 70..like Roger Ebert, she’s too dead for me.
But that doesn’t take away all the loads she made happen in her prime, and that is something we celebrate.
RIP motherfucker.