There was a time when Tara Reid was the hottest thing in Hollywood. The Megan Fox of her generation. The it girl cast in everything. That time was a long fucking time ago and with time sometimes it heals all wounds, but for the most part…it makes lovely things slowly rot away…from the most glorious of fruits, to the nicest flowers…to the ass you wanted to fuck…days turn into nights…and nights turn into weeks…and weeks turn into years…and years turn into asses that turn into shrivelled sad fleshy objects…that for some reason haven’t been informed that they shouldn’t be in bikinis and that Spring Break ended 15 years ago…for this 40 year old…or at least should have….