The interesting thing about not leaving your house, is how little happens when sitting on your couch, in your own filth.
Apparently, Iggy Azalea and Jessie Andrews were in Montreal, along with a bunch of other babes, and not one of them called me up to hang…I am not relevant. In fact, both of those girls have blocked me on all social media, because I guess they don’t get my jokes…
But if I left my house, it would have been a great opportunity, to figure out a clever way to troll them, whether through egging, or just hiding in their hotel room snapping pics…like they were Erin Andrews…totally in on it…
The good news is that even if they did hit me up to hang, I wouldn’t have done it, because it would go against my life mission of not leaving my house….it’s awful here, but way more awful out there.
That said, Here are some morning links…
10 Dicks on the Local News
GO
Girls in White Shorts
GO
Justin Timberlake Called Madonna his Nigga
GO
National Guard Being Sent to Missouri
GO
Jessica Alba Panty Flash
GO
Kendall Jenner’s Damage Control – Tipping 150 on a 550 meal to Make Up for Cunt Behavior
GO
Jennifer Lawrence is Banging Chris Martin
GO
Mila Kunis is Really Over the Whole Pregnancy Thing
GO
Smart Cat Uses Water Cooler
GO
GIRLS GIRLS GIRLS – MODERN DAY STRIP CLUB FROM THE COMFORT OF YOUR HOME
GO
Britney Spears Lip Syncing
GO
Britney and a Tennis Racket
GO
COUGARS ARE SUCH SLUTS AND WE LOVE SLUTS
GO
How Optical Illusions Trick Your Brain
GO
Some Ed Sheeran Rick Ross Remix
GO
6 Products Designed for Girls
GO
Gene Simmons Apologizes for Telling Depressed People to Kill Themselves
GO