I’ve been watching bikini photoshoots for the last three days and it is starting to get pretty fucking boring.
Not because I’m at Art Basel, and should be looking at art like some asshole, trying to decipher what commentary the artist was making on our socioeconomic state after racism in the media, or whatever bullshit spin they have to sell their overpriced shit….
Or because Art Basel is a shit show where everyone drinks until 6 am…
But because it is getting in the way of my Tinder sex. It’s like “baby I’m only here til tomorrow role through my hotel room”…kind of thing…that I can’t do when I’m not in a fucking hotel room to do it…
It turns out the timeline of “we need to meet before my flight” makes tinder girls go “why the fuck not, I’ll never see him again”..
And that’s the fucking best.
The future is now.
Here are some morning links…
15 People Who Went Too Far with Xmas Decorations
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A Bunch of Big fucking Titties
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Drake and Diddy Got Into a Fight
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Little Girl Starts Impromptu Dance
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Alessandra Ambrosio Does Yoga
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Leo Took 20 Girls Home With Him at an Art Basel Party
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Top 10 Seinfeld Quotes
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Mark Wahlberg Seeks a Pardon for his Hate Crime
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Kayla Swift VS Hooker Water is Amazing
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Invisible Chair Prank
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20 Reasons Why Glass Doors are the Best Prank Ever
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Miley Got Kicked Out of a Bathroom at Art Basel from being Wasted…and Apparently Patrick Schwarzenegger is a bigger Rager than She Is
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Canadas Worst Driver
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Find the Best Porn EVER
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