Her name is Alyssa Barbara.
I’ve been following her on her INSTAGRAM because she’s pretty fucking amazing.
She’s from Canada, and lives in Canada, all while Canada is the worst. I know this because I live here, and I know people from here, and none of those people look anything like this, but if they did, and apparently they do, I wouldn’t be so miserable…not that they would talk to me when they do look like this…because I am repulsive…but you know what I mean…and that is that I’d like to suck the maple syrup out of her ass with my tongue…because one thing I do know about Canadians in Canada is that they all shit maple syrup.