Diary of a Facebook Prisoner: Jesus Martinez
DAY 15 in Facebook Jail
It’s Leap Year….
The 29th of February, or as someone out there calls it, the day he allows himself to go to the bathhouse to bang the fuck out and stock up on AIDS dick, once every four years, to allow him to go back to his wife and kids to live the good family life…
Maybe no one calls it that….
Oscars happened, I live tweeted it, #oscarssoboring #mediaSUCHpussies, but in more interesting news, I was sent a lot of fucking nudes. All without leaving my bed.
Because Girls, are you ready for this dated reference? Okay…Because Girl are like DVDs, don’t buy one, when you can rent a different one every night….unless you’re rich enough to buy a whole collection..because it gets boring to have access to ONE dvd….it’s reallly the reason why NETFLIX exists…
Here are some stepLINKS…
Every Leo Movie SuperCut
CLICK HERE
Leo’s Acceptance Speech
CLICK HERE
100 Years of Zombie Evolution
CLICK HERE
Cute Girl Selfies
CLICK HERE
Terrifying Robot Video by Boston Dynamics…
CLICK HERE
Ellie Goulding is Decent…
CLICK HERE
Margot Robbie – Tight Gold Dress
CLICK HERE
MMA Backfist
CLICK HERE
Jenna Dewan in a Bikini
CLICK HERE
Office Chairs that Park Themselves…
CLICK HERE
Jennifer Garner on Ben Affleck Divorce
CLICK HERE
Cooking a Steak with a Blow Torch
CLICK HERE
How To Steal Two Cell Phones with One Robbery
CLICK HERE
Kesha’s Song for her Fans is Creepy
CLICK HERE
A Bunch of Cute GIrls
CLICK HERE