My biggest fail of the weekend was not getting a girl to masturbate in a church bathroom she was at on Sunday because her mom is some religious bitch and it is a week before Christmas, not that masturbating in church is that big of a deal anymore…I am sure all the instagram sluts do nude shoots in churches all the time, but I am old and still believe in Christmas miracles…so I am into it…and didn’t get it…which is pretty much exactly what you’d expect for someone who excels at failing…
My biggest win of the weekend was not falling in a snowbank, drunk on my way home, and dying….and to think all my school teachers told me I would amount to nothing….
Here are some stepLINKS…in the Morning…
Paris Jackson Gives Macaulay Culkin a Pedicure
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11,000 Penguins VS 4,000 Santa Clauses in a Battle
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Zsa Zsa Gabour is Dead
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Holiday Dip Goes Wrong On Air
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Ariel Winter – Big Titty Christmas Shop
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Some Chick in BIKINI FROM HGTV
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The World’s Smallest Brownie
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I Think Amy Schumber is in a Bikini in this Trailer…Oh God She Is…Shameless
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Russian Hacker Catches Hands on Fire..
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Glamour Model Who is Mangled as Fuck – Vida Guerra – Naked
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Anna Faris – Dog Killer
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Reporter Gets Sick for Obama
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