Morning Hangover Dump of the Day

I like going to the mall or any store and forcing the staff to listen to my jokes, because no one else will, and they have no choice. This one girl selling batteries was trying to convince me it was a great deal, three flashlights for 10 dollars like anyone needs three flashlights so I told her I prefer finding a dead person my size and the morgue who is my size, laying him next to my wife in bed, and burning the place down, you know for my lighting needs, then running to the woods to live happily ever after unscathed and left alone because the world thinks I am

Dead, but I guess I could use the batteries from the flashlights as a solar network to power my electric blanket, so I bought three

Here are some morning links…

Katy Perry Says She’s Too Busy Boinking Orlando Bloom…

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Ken Block’s Driving Video

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Weird Artist Makes His Vacation Photos Weird By Turning Him and His Friends into Kids….PEDO shit…

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Sink Hole of the Day

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Slut in a Bathing Suit

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Scarjo and Her Back Tattooo

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Drunken Chrissy Teigen Finds her New Angle to Milk Like it was John Legend’s Wallet – Alcoholism

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More on the R Kelly Accuser

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Suburbicon Trailer #2

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Morning Hangover Dump of the Day August 23rd, 2017