Morning Hangover Dump of the Day

I am – a fucking hero…..I saw a woman outside an expensive hotel having what looked like a drunken freak out in a taxi, who knows what she was on, but her eyes were rolled back into her head and she was a fucking mess. The police were called, she was cuffed, then released into the lobby, where she sat because she was too wasted to stand…like really fucking wasted, almost arrested and cuffed wasted, the kind of wasted you like to have sex with because it’s fucking mental…until it throws up on you…

So I did the gentlemanly thing…and offered to take her up to her room, where I would have stripped her down and put her in the shower…cuz I am a nice guy…so nice…I wouldn’t drink her entire mini bar…or pull out my dick…I’m a married man…I was just there for the tits…

Only even in her drunken state of insanity – that almost got her arrested – she knew she could do better than me…

I blame the #metoo movement and Christmas carols like “baby it’s cold outside” for cockblocking my good pervert intentions…..meanwhile girls are getting knocked up through unprotected sex with guys they meet on TINDER

at their houses while drunk at 4 am every fucking day…

I guess I am just bad at marketing.

Heroes come in all shapes motherfuckers….

Dina Lohan has a Boyfriend of 5 Years She’s Never Met

CLICK HERE

Transgender ZOMBIE Taking it like a Champ

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Car Wash Twerk…

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Bird Unsure of Chameleon Friend

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Evolution of Unmasked Jason Vorhees

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Halsey is the Fucking Worst on SNL

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Kourtney Kardashian See Through

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Store Owner Pedophile Confronted

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Two Headed PIG

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Turtle Riding a Fish…

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Father Teaching Toddler to Steal

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Celebrate the Female Body!

CLICK HERE celebrate_the_female_body.htm

Slammin That Ass

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Snacking Squirrl Can’t Stand Up

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People care that Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston are Back On…

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Morning Hangover Dump of the Day February 11th, 2019