I’ve done way too many posts on Ireland Baldwin over the years and I say the same thing in all of them…because I am a professional Ireland Baldwin documentarian…
Here’s the top 5 things to say when doing
1- She’s 7 feet tall and a Monster
2- Her dad called her a pig as a child so she’s been trying to redeem herself all these years by trying to be something other than a pig.
3- She was quick on instagram and had potential, because no one could tell she was 7 feet tall thanks to angles and perspective camera tricks, but instead of going viral with all her access and money, she managed to end up in rehab a dozen times while her hotter cousin, who is equally masculine, just not as monstrous went onto marry Bieber and is now a legit personality.
4 – Her dad is still disappointed with her, maybe because she’s turned to lame ass porn that isn’t porn on instagram, sexualizing herself, and I guess showcasing her big ass that will make even big porn dick look small…and make your non existent dick look even more non existent..he’s so disappointed he married a fake Spanish chick and had 10 fake Spanish babies cuz she’s a weirdo breeder gold digger biting into Ireland’s inheritance as her dad watches cuz he doesn’t want her getting shit….
5- She’s a celebrity kid with very famous celeb parents but apparenly that’s not enough to not suck…but I guess she’s rich, has a trust fund, and this weirdness, trying to be hot and sexual is just something to do when she doesn’t have to do shit, cuz she’s a celebrity kid…
I think my top 5 list could have been better, I guess this is why I don’t work at Buzzfeed.
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