A nerdy friend of mine who I’ve known for over 20 years has committed to this story about a girl in his High School who used to fuck individually wrapped frozen high schools, and for 20 years I’ve been calling him out for being a liar, because everyone knows that maggot in the pussy from a broken hot dog urban legend, so no girl, at least not in the 80s or 90s when this reportedly happened was fucking frozen hot dogs, especially not in high school, and if she was, which she wasn’t, she’d never tell him about it, it’s just not what people did back then, their inserting of objects inside their vaginas was sacred, private and not something easily shared, even with the sluts who didn’t care about that information out there, they’d STILL keep to themselves….I mean, I used to drill girls back then about the weirdest thing they put in themselves and 99 percent said nothing, penetration was gross, which obviously I didn’t believe, a few admitted to candles, produce, a hairbrush and one used a crucifix because she was goth….
ANYWAY, my friend committed to the story, said he even saw her do it, that his friends saw her do it, like it was a regular and today, he decided to come clean and admit that HE was the one who fucked the frozen hot dog, meaning he put it in his ass, while his friends watched, but he couldn’t admit it, so he invented a girl who did it, to which I said “you shoulda stuck to the lie”..
This coming clean, honesty, because ass-play and weird sex acts are normalized, when dudes cutting off their dicks and calling themselves a lady is normalized, when having sex with men is not gay, it’s just inclusive, mixed with some weird Alcoholic Anonymous ask for forgiveness has got to fucking stop, keep it to your damn self, mind your damn business, go paint your nails and pretend your feet are the feet your foot fetish model posts but that you can’t afford to buy so you do a little DIY for jerk off material but don’t drag me into it, I am not involved, I am not interested…..I am a firm believer in shame….
It’s the weekend and I’ll you can guess who I won’t be drinking with…….but I will be drinking and you should too just keep the hot dogs in the fucking fridge where they belong.
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