I didn’t see any fucking tight pants on any fucking chicks today and it made me wonder about those motherfuckers who decided to run fur trading up in Canada back when the a trading corporation basically armed themselves as a police force and did what they had to do to set up shop in North America..or at least Canada after experiencing one winter…fucking psychopaths….
I get there was money, there were resources and the King send over a bunch of French Hookers to keep the dicks wet when travelling along the fur trapper trails….
They didn’t think that the future generation, who have locked themselves away indoors because they can be weird internet weirdos for work, instead of actually leaving the house, would have to suffer through harsh winters with heating, take-out and 100s of thousands of hours of streaming entertainment to distract them….because if they did…they’d realize winter would affect my ability to see half naked chicks out in public…or at least chicks in the skin tight, uninsulated, hot tight pants a pervert like me needs….YOU CAN USUALLY DECIPHER the FATNESS OF THE PUSSY…on a stranger…PERFECT….
There were no tight pants on the streets, in the parks, none picking up dog shit…no tight pants anywhere to be seen….not even at a coffee shop being trendy…none at the library, not that I went to library…do libraries still exist or are they just called homeless shelters because even they have to avoid the cold…
I saw one bitch in snow pants…another in ill fitting jeans she probably had tight pants under…and other obese woman who may have been in tight pants because it’s the only pants she knows…she’s fat…but she doesn’t count…
So I turn to the internet, like the oracle, the magic 8-ball, the AI that controls our life….it KNOWS tight pants since the girls who want to be seen in tight pants are uploading their tight pants to be seen…so we don’t have to face the horrible winter weather like a bunch of crazed with syphilis for trappers to find their beaver….they bring it to us for marketing purposes…
