It’s safe to say that X-Tina Aguilera, like all the other 40 year old fat celebs, is rocking the diabetes medication harder than they probably should, because clearly no one likes being fat, even those fat empowerment people pushing for diversity in models because they are fat and that’s how they get paid, wish deep down inside that they weren’t over-eaters….
I will never believe a fat person who says they are happy being fat, because as a fat fuck, there’s literally no benefits from being fat, from your penis getting absorbed by the fat, giving you a very female looking penis thanks to your gunt….to struggling to get up stairs, to being uncomfortable in clothes, to being uncomfortable in human sized chairs….it’s hell.
So it’s nice seeing that X-Tina took her new Vegas residency seriously enough to do basically nothing to actually lose weight, but take some pharmaceuticals, but it looks better than if she was still fat and that’s important….especially to me……because I still have a bet that I will fuck her in my lifetime.
I have written about this before, since it’s my only X-Tina story, but back in the 2000s, I was team Aguilera cuz she was getting DIRTY and her fake tits on her skinny frame was hotter than Britney’s thick neck.
I hated the way she sang, but I hated all pop music, so at least she did sing….
Anyway, it was pre-social media, pre-desperate celebs that are accessible people, back when there was a very aggressive barrier of entry between a man and a celebrity vagina.
So being the confident man I am, one who knows that I can end up ANYWHERE I really want to end up, because this shit’s a fucking videogame….I made a bet with a friend, who is probably dead by now, that in my lifetime, I will have sex with Christina Aguilera…
Neither of us are dead and she’s been fat for a long time so I haven’t even tried yet, but this 24 year old bet is still active in my mind and I’ll manifest that shit if she maintains this look for the next year, so WATCH OUT AGUILERA…looking like a hot 40 year old may lead to the worst sex of your life….probably smarter for her to get fat again than to have to resist my good looks and charm when I decide to turn it on to fulfill said bet.