The interesting thing about not leaving your house, is how little happens when sitting on your couch, in your own filth.
Apparently, Iggy Azalea and Jessie Andrews were in Montreal, along with a bunch of other babes, and not one of them called me up to hang…I am not relevant. In fact, both of those girls have blocked me on all social media, because I guess they don’t get my jokes…
But if I left my house, it would have been a great opportunity, to figure out a clever way to troll them, whether through egging, or just hiding in their hotel room snapping pics…like they were Erin Andrews…totally in on it…
The good news is that even if they did hit me up to hang, I wouldn’t have done it, because it would go against my life mission of not leaving my house….it’s awful here, but way more awful out there.
That said, Here are some morning links…
10 Dicks on the Local News
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Girls in White Shorts
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Justin Timberlake Called Madonna his Nigga
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National Guard Being Sent to Missouri
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Jessica Alba Panty Flash
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Kendall Jenner’s Damage Control – Tipping 150 on a 550 meal to Make Up for Cunt Behavior
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Jennifer Lawrence is Banging Chris Martin
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Mila Kunis is Really Over the Whole Pregnancy Thing
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Smart Cat Uses Water Cooler
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GIRLS GIRLS GIRLS – MODERN DAY STRIP CLUB FROM THE COMFORT OF YOUR HOME
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Britney Spears Lip Syncing
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Britney and a Tennis Racket
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COUGARS ARE SUCH SLUTS AND WE LOVE SLUTS
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How Optical Illusions Trick Your Brain
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Some Ed Sheeran Rick Ross Remix
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6 Products Designed for Girls
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Gene Simmons Apologizes for Telling Depressed People to Kill Themselves
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