I tried getting into a club last night when I was wasted and the guy working the door told me to lose 30 pounds and get 20 years younger and to maybe take a shower and then he pushed me, so I went to emotionally eat some of the greasiest pizza and I am not talking John Travolta Grease, I am talking heart attack grease and I was surrounded by people fat enough to make me lose my appetite, even though I don’t generally care about that kind of thing and embrace impending death. Then one of the fattest guys I ever saw came up to me to tell me I looked like a fat version of one of his friends and that he needed a picture, when I told the guy that in my head I am not a fatter version of anything except maybe Perez Hilton, he tried to justify his dis by slapping at his fat belly saying that there’s nothing wrong with being fat, but the damage was done and I guess I have to accept that eventually I was going to turn into my wife, only instead of wearing matching Hawaiian shirts on vacation, we wear matching guts everyday and that almost makes me want to start working out and eating better, but not just yet, maybe next week and while I sit here eating my donuts, you can click on these links…..they are good.
Peta Is Just Is Fucked Up
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I Need As Much As I Can Get of Amanda Bynes
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The 15 Hottest New Porn Stars
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Nikki Cox’s Lips Are Just Too Fucking Much
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Banana Fireworks Fun
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Nessa Will Make a Small Portion of Your Dreams Come True
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Porn, What Is It Good For?
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George Lucas’ Doodles From the Set of Star Wars
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Sacha Cohen Movie is Going to Piss Everyone Right the Fuck Off
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More From the Gorgeous Tiny Chicken Machine Show
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Diane Kruger Panty Upskirt
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Kanye West Really Just Wants to Ruin His Career Completely
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Maybe Lohan and Ronson Did Break Up Afterall
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Katy Perry and Eva LongWHOREia Are Ugly
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Hohan Wants Sean Penn’s Peen So Bad She Can Taste It
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Megan Foxe’s Audition Tape for Transformers
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Strip Go Karting Looks Like My Kind of Sport
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Find Girls to Fuck – Because Sex is a Two Person Activity
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In Here, a Tiger Eats This Guys Head Off
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Lisen Wants to Invite You In
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Respect My Authority or Get Knocked the Fuck Out
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Web Cam Bobie Collection
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Because Every Guy Need a Few Proper Sluts i
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David Beckham’s Son Drives a Porche. And He is Six.
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Angelina Jolie is About to Known Anne Hatheway the Fuck Out
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Kid Slaps His Dad With a DVD
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Brooke Burke is Full Bangable
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Lorena Has Legs For Days
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Man Evan Rachel Wood Really Gets Around
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God Damn I Love Kate Beckinsale
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Use This To Get Sex..Because Sex is Fun
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Katie Price is in Lingerie
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Head Between the Titties
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Japanese Black Face is a Bit Racialist IMO
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Alexa Loren is a Cowgirl
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Olivia Munn In Her Bikini for the Nerds.
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Pregnant Ghetto Fight At Chucky Cheese
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Make Your Own Wide Angle/Fish Eye Photo Lense
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WTF is Wrong With This Vagina?
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The Olsen Twins Need to Eat Some Fucking Food
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Juno – The Alternate Endings
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Some Drunken Housewive’s Flashin’ Their Asses…
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Amount of Calories Burned with Different Sexual Positions.
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A Couple BLonde Whores You’d Expect To Be Sucking Dick on Video By The End of the Night
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