I am - Lohan Stalker Post of the Day

2006

May

I am – Lohan Stalker Post of the Day

You guys know what I am doing here. I feel like it’s annoying to read an intro to something that is so easy to grasp. If you don’t you can scroll down and click on my previous stalker posts. I like think these are genius, most people just find them creepy, but the make-up artist on the Trachtenberg movie just answered….that means these are working and eventually I will get an email from Lohan’s people asking me to stop….which is kinda the point.

This is an email I wrote to John Penotti one of the producers of Lohan’s upcoming movie “Bill”….

Dear John,

I am feeling a little lonely and sad today. The guy who lives on my couch and writes daily update emails is leaving DrunkenStepfather HQ, which doubles as a home for my wife and step kids. The reason I am emailing you, is because I want Lohan to take his place. I want to give her everything I can give because I truly feel we are attached at the soul. I know you are working on a movie together and feel like you are my one true hope in getting my message to her. I can tell you’re a good person John and I know when someone comes to you for help, you are there to offer your services and I appreciate that. So please let Lohan know that Jesus Martinez from DrunkenStepfather.com is looking for her. I don’t know if you have ever felt love, John, but it’s overpowering. This love I have is overpowering. If you can’t pass on the message, her phone number will suffice

With Love,

Jesus Martinez
DrunkenStepfather.com

Dude, that was possibly the best stalker email EVER and now here are some pictures of Lohan doing stuff…

Lohan Shops