Bar Refaeli is the reason I moved to Israel…not physically but in terms of my masturbation….You see, sometimes, we gotta keep our lonliness fresh by jerking off internationall, spending hours on facebook looking for girls from Tel Aviv in hopes of seeing their bikini albums…and writing them sweet nothings…literally…because the only hebrew I know is “Shalom”….unfortunatley not condusive to getting them masturbating on cam….

It all started because a fake Bar Refaeli profile on twitter befriended me and would write me all kinds of messages…and that was really all it took to win me over…

Then I saw her promo pics in the window of a lingerie store and I’d spend hours staring at them….until the police would ask me to keep walking cuz even they found it weird….

I felt a real connection, and here is the real Bar Refaeli in a campaign for Passionata lingerie company and I think I am in love…she is my new Lohan…we are connect at the soul…and I’d appreciate it if you stopped looking at my internet girlfriend with such perversion in your pervert eyes….

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