I don’t care that Charlize Theron is rumored to be dating a guy who had sex with Alanis Morisette.

I care that she launched her career in May 1999 by doing Playboy like she was Sara Jean Underwood, Pam Anderson and all the other trashy sluts before and after her, only to end up winning an Oscar with her rocking hot South Africa pussy like it doesn’t have a 98% chance of having AIDS….

She’s substantially more solid than that dumpy Scarlett Johansson trash….and here’s a throwback to her getting naked to get ahead for all the young girls out there with a dream who are unsure how to get a Ryan Reynolds of your own…shit starts with getting naked and embracing your inner whore by pretending it is an organic connection with your most natural, uninhibited self….or some other art fag bullshit that makes you feel better about being an immigrant whore….

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