I was called a pervert by a stranger in person for the first time in a long time. I walked into a club with no cover charge, wasted, and parked myself on the corner of the dance floor and stared. I’m talking intensely at a group of girls twerking like they were in a hip hop video while wearing tight pants, because I like to treat real life like a cam show, and the dudes who were trying to get with these girls, or maybe who were already with these girls, came up to me and asked me to stop staring, they said to stop looking for love on the dancefloor, and they said I was a fucking pervert…which was appropriate, because I guess I am, but the good news is that so is everyone else.

Here are some morning links you pervert.

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