So some dude who has a website called INeedDaneCooksCockInMe.com or some shit I don’t remember because it was lame, just added me to AIM to tell me that I am a bigger failure than Teri Hatcher. I told him that I know that she may be disgusting, but she’s on some popular TV show and that I don’t really take offense to being compared to her because she’s doing alright for herself, especially not from some dude who has a crush on Dane Cook and thinks he’s actually funny. The dude went on to try to convince me to kill myself because I guess that’s the type of shit he finds funny and was saying that’s how much of a failure I was in his eyes, but reality is that if the booze doesn’t kill me, either will I and I’ll just let shit ride its course even if it means running this deeper into the ground than I already have.
That said, maybe I’d consider doing it, if the person peer pressuring me to do it was someone who was less pathetic than I am. Maybe if a really hot chick was like let’s kill ourselves together and I’ll let you grab my tits, but even then I’d probably just go along with it to grab her tits then pussy out, because death looks boring. I feel like if I was to take dude on he’d have to be someone who doesn’t use the word “Douch Bag” three times on his Dane Cook fan site and who doesn’t drop jokes about jerking off to Llamas. So today’s lesson is to only take advice from people who are more successful and funnier than you, and not from some hack motherfucker who thinks he’s got all the answers hiding behind his computer making bad jokes.
Here are my links:
The Internet Pirate in the Forum Landed the New Jay-Z American Gangster Leak that is
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A Hot Iranian Porn Movie…I Didn’t Think it Was Possible Either
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Shauna Sand Dressed Half Naked and Classy for Some Event…Because She Can…
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Her Name is Ellen Stagg and She’s an Erotica Photographer and This Will Lead You To Her Own World Artistic Sluts Being Sleazy
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Who Would You Rather Have Sex With the Scary Edition
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Kim Kardashian Talks About Being an Attention Whore Slut
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Orliath McAllister’s Stained Panties
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Some Chick Named Anna Friel Topless By The Pool She’s Supposed to be on a TV Show Called Pushing Daisies
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Some Amazing Crackhead Dancing
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Elizabeth Hurley Bikini Pictures Because She’s Old and I’d Still Stuff Her Thanksgiving Turkey, But I’ve Always Had a Thing for Poultry
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Mary Carey is a DJ Whore With Big Fake TIts
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Here’s a Foot Juggling Video Because You Like People Who Are Good With Their Feet
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Britney Spears Gives Some Athlete Named Tony Romo a Lap Dance
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Britney Spears Breast Feeds When Drunk on Vodka and Hit On K-Fed’s Girlfriend
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Here’s a Drunk Liquor Theif to Remind us of Our Past…
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Lookin’ Good Sweetheart
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Prince Harry’s Got a Sex Tape…Amazing
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Some Crazy Nightclub Fight
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Jordin Sparks is Some Fat Chick From American Idol Who Has Vowed to Stay a Virgin
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Angelina Joie is Disgusting on The Set of her New Movie
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Kim Kardashian and Her Whore Sister Re-Create Girls Gone Wild
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Arnold Schwarznegger Doesn’t Think Weed is a Drug
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David Spade’s Ironic T-Shirt
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Some Dude High On Drugs being Hysterical
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Girls Going Nuts at a Drunken Party
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Christina Ricci Lookin’ Hot Again….
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Jessica Biel’s Hot and Wet and Half Naked and Hiding Her Penis
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Check Out Rihanna’s Tit’s Side Cleavage
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Funny Interview with Gay Dumbledore from Harry Potter…But You Already Knew That…That’s Why You Read the Books Virgin…
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Some Dude Juggling Hammers
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Some Vintage Tom Green vs an Old Man Video
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Diana Ross’ Son is Slammin Some Blonde Slut Dressed Up Blonde and Slutty Named Aubrey O’Day
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This Halloween Costume Will Turn You the Fuck On…
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Nicole Richie Smokes When Pregnant
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Jordan Dressed Classy, But We All Know She’s a Slut
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2 Half Naked Girls Looking Hot in Ralph Magazine Named Danielle and Tamara Kondratriuk
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Some Hot New Britney Photoshoot
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Some Cheerleader Keeps Doing Her Moves As She’s Pulled Away on a Stretcher…Hysterical
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Check Out Some Hot California Blondes Named Holly and Molly Being Hot California Blondes
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Some Frat Boy Lookin’ Motherfucker Named Pittsburgh Slim Has a Lame Frat Boy Song Called Girls Kiss Girls…But the Video is Worth Watching….Seriously….Just Mute the Shit and by Shit I Mean His Song
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Jennifer Ellison Showing Off her Tits on Rollerblades and It’s as Magical as it Sounds
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Avril Lavigne is a Lame French Maid or a Totally Unsexy Something for Halloween
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Lookin’ Good Sweetheart
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Lohan Lookin’ Fucking Hot
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Lohan Does AA Next to This Blogger’s Home…
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Some Funny Church Billboard Trying to Guilt the Public into Going to Church so that they can Get Your Money
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Some Photobucket Slut Who Looks Pregnant and Classy
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Some Slut on Photobucket’s Fake Tits
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A Couple of Teens Dyke out on the Couch
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Download Inxs Greatest Hits in the Forum
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Download Queens of the Stone Age Live in the Forum
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Download Smashing Pumpkins Adore in the Forum
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Download AC/DC Back in Black in the Forum
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Some Sorority Girl Naked in the Forum
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Download Some Amateur Orgy in the Forum
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2 Hot Naked Chicks Posing Together
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Watch this Hooker Change Her Mind About Having Sex on Camera…It May Remind You of your Sex Life…
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How About Some Naughty Athletics?
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If you Like Pussy…This Will Help
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Bonus:
Sandee Westgate’s Tits Do a DVD Review