These pictures of Lauren Conrad remind me of my sex life, which consists of sitting anywhere girls hang out, like the coffee shops or college campuses, malls or even in shitty restaurants; pretty much anywhere they can accidentally drop things and have to pick them up so that I can see their asses from angles I normally wouldn’t. Since I can’t jerk off in public, let alone in the privacy of my own home, because my penis doesn’t work, it makes my perversions non-threatening, but not nearly as non-threatening as Lauren Conrad’s career is to any actress in the same age-range as her who goes to the same auditions as her, because despite satisfying my needs by bending over, I think it’s safe to say she’s pretty much talentless and that these pictures are showing her in what could be a role of a lifetime for her because it’s something that she can be believable in and is pretty much born for…unfortunately for her it’s just a matter of time before looking at her bent over will make us want to be gay, so take it in when you can, otherwise there’ll be a whole lot of other issues for you to deal with that I want nothing to do with.

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