Jennifer Hawkins is some Miss Universe contestant from Australia and she’s now taken on work as a stripper, but not the conventional kind of stripper we love, the kind of stripper who pulls sheets of girls to unveil some kind of bikini or lingerie clothing line in some kind of promotional bullshit. I know that I am more into seeing girls strip girls in Spring Break videos because I don’t have the budget to go in person, or even the kind of stripping that involves a pole and private dances for 10 dollars a song, but I guess I am just old school and have trouble adapting to the changing times. Maybe that’s why I am scared to get off my salvation army couch, that’s seen a fair share of my ass and only cost me 40 dollars…this couch is cheaper than any woman ever has been and it’s much more supportive. I feel like you when you rationalize your relationship with a rubber vagina, see we do have so much in common.

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