My computer is running like shit, which is kinda to be expected since I got it for 40 dollars 2 years ago, but I’m still posting today, even if it takes me a long fucking time to do it. I guess it doesn’t matter, what does matter is this Rita G video shoot for XXL magazine. Rita G is the hot chick from the Kanye video you all jerk off to when watching MTV between episodes of The Hills.
I don’t read XXL magazine cuz I am not Urban enough and by Urban I mean black or a white kid in the suburbs who thinks I am black. I do however have jungle fever now and it all started last week with Serena Willams in a bikini, not because it brought back my first memories of the zoo as a little immigrant kid, but because it reminded me that in all my sexual conquests I have never got a chance to experience a black girl.
I never really investigated why this has never gone down, I think it’s gotta do with the way I look, the size of my little penis and maybe my fear of black girls because they look like they’d hurt me if I got out of line with them. So I’ve never pursued them, I’ve never been in their circle and never really had a chance to even socialize with them.
This weekend, I went to my local stripclub and this tall, thin, hot dark skinned black girl with an insane body was on stage and I was hooked. I told her she was the hottest girl in the place and all she wanted was me to pay her for a dance. I had no money but I did cross paths with her on the way to the bathroom and she was talking to her friend about how her dress got stolen and how it was a 400 dollar Liz Claiborne. She was running her mouth off about how she doesn’t fuck around and that she’s not like other strippers and is classy but will still kill this other whore, so I decided to chime in and said “I thought all strippers were classy, where I am from getting naked for money and letting guys grab your tits for money is considered high society, but then again I am one step away from being homeless and I haven’t changed my underwear in 4 days”.
As she stared back at me like she was going to kill me with her fake Chanel earrings shining back at me, I realized that she didn’t find my joke funny and either did I, but she wasn’t charmed by me and needless to say, I have still never got with a black girl.