I never gave a shit about Miranda Kerr or her weirdly shaped Australian face. I just thought she was a wallet fucking Victoria’s Secret girl trying to elevate her profile, or value, by getting knocked up by a big celebrity at the time…Orlando Bloom…

When I got the exclusive from some Australian who was friends with her manager that she cheated on Bloom with Bieber, he became a little more interesting, but then VS fired her, or didn’t “re-sign” her to her lucrative contract, you see, she was married to an A- Lister…maybe a B+ Lister….but someone more famous than the average actor….so you gotta get paid for that brand integration.

She went onto date some creeper Billionaire movie producer and Casino owner rich kid, realizing that VS models get billionaires, not millionaires, millionaires are for the less important models….

Then she seduced the snapchat guy who we’ll assume was some socially awkward programmer with no friends who used to jerk off to the VS catalog before he could buy one fo their models….and I always wondered why….there’s so much good pussy out there that’s not as obvious, but these billionaires love fucking each other’s girls, it’s a weird club, and weird status….these people like to be ESKIMO brothers, it’s a bonding experience, but when you’re in the club, being knocked up by then, you can BUY all the things you ever wanted to fill your empty soul….

Point of the story, this is an old throwback nude, very old, she may still look this good, who fucking knows, I haven’t Miranda Kerr creeped basically ever…but I’ll look at the throwback, well positioned, forever taken care of financially tits!

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