My wife is an amazing creature, and not in a good way…like this bitch is not saving the fucking world or anything, she’s just amazing because she can sit for 12 hours on the couch without moving…but because for a woman who can’t wipe her own ass she manages to be pretty fucking capable when it comes to dealing with her food addiction…I mean this bitch will get out of bed at 4 am and manage to walk to the closest 24 hour convenience store to buy 1000s of calories of shit to eat before coming home and falling back to sleep…if only there was an obstacle course along the way…maybe she wouldn’t be 1000 pounds…leading to my new sports league…obesity olympics….where the trophy at the end of the athletic task is a bag of doritos and ice cream…these motherfuckers will work for the shit…
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