I was reading the Lohan Speak Album liner notes the other day as I was practicing a dance routine for the song “Rumors”, and I noticed something funny. LinLo proclaimed her love to my little mexican buddy Wilmer. I didn’t realize how funny it was until I read it on OhNoTheyDidn’t…..This is what it says…

Wilmer: Since you have come into my life you have been so supportive and understanding. I feel blessed to have you. Thank you for being by my side whenever I need you. Papi, thanks for telling me I can do it all and for being proud. Thank you for loving me. I love you.

It is an unfortunate case of being a fool, a fool in love with a mexican. But it is nice having this permanently part of your album, to remind of what being drunk and in love felt like.

You are 18 and our mexican loverboy is older. You were the “it” girl, you were all over the media, you had big boobs, you were appealing and sexually inexperienced so you wouldn’t mind his ridiculously small penis. He is Fez from the ’70s show, he has lots of money and little talent, his hobbies include picking up young girls and fucking them. I hate to break it to you but he never loved you like I did Lohan, he just told you that to get you to do anal…He was never supportive, but he acted like he cared because it was all part of the manipulation process….when he realized that were annoying and obsessed and after having you in every position he needed you in, your job was done.

Lindsay Lohan where is Wilmer Valderamma now? Is he in Ashlee Simpson or Mandy Moore? Has he found a new C-Lister to C on?

Don’t worry Jesus Martinez can make you feel a lot of things, I am sure blessed is one of them… your inexperience in the bedroom is a turn-on for me, I can be the sex educator. And the only person you should be calling Papi is your DrunkenStepfather, now come sit on my lap I have a story to tell you….

It is Christmas afterall….

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