Today is my birthday and what better way to celebrate my birthday than to post pictures of Victoria Silvstedt in a bikini on the beach especially after getting sued by her personally for posting pictures of the slut getting eaten out by a midget like this was the circus… I mean I could be out fucking whores in expensive hotel rooms, or jacked on coke at naked breakfast after getting destroyed last night, but I am a pussy and I have a cold and ditched out on the festivities at midnight to come home to my computer and my fat wife instead of goin’ crazy and having the time of my life…
When asked what I wanted for my birthday, I didn’t say pictures of Victoria Silvstedt pictures, but the people I know are poor so I take what I can get.
When asked what I wanted to accomplish for the upcoming year, I said not to die and that pretty much sums up today.
So send me your birthday wishes and remember, I am not nearly as cool as “Perez Hilton”, with 2 weeks of luxurious parties with Paris Hilton…a pink carpet event for all his fans to come and celebrate, but I am totally down for naked pics, so if you were thinking of doing it in the past, nows the day to actually go through with it.
In reality, I know you aren’t reading this, I feel like the year I was alone and bought a day old cake at the bakery, put candles in it and sang happy birthday to myself next to the dumpster in the back alley. It was one of my better birthdays, because in other years I’d end up in the dumpster or prison, or robbed and beaten, or in the hospital, I guess these are signs of me getting older and tamer and either way, Happy Fucking Birthday to Me….
I am accepting gifts. If everyone of you sends em a dollar, I’ll have $20 to buy myself something special. I don’t remember the last time I had $20. Make my dreams come true. Cuddles.