I was hanging out with some man-hating girl the other day. She wasn’t a lesbian and had no interest in ever being a lesbian and claimed that she never even kissed a girl before, which I had trouble believing since every girl has kissed a girl but she was pretty convincing.
The reason she hates men is because she’s convinced that all men cheat and can’t be trusted with her vagina so instead of having sex and just livin’ in the moment, she’s got all these hang-ups and just doesn’t fuck, but does let guys buy her booze in bars that she dresses up in party dresses to go to because she hates men enough to look good for them and get attention from them.
I tried telling her that girls cheat too and got into a huge discussion of mass-generalizations about how guys get used to fuckin’ their wives and don’t venture out to fuck other girls because it takes work and we are lazy and the only time we do end up cheating is when a girl throws herself at us because we can’t say no. I went onto say that girls are the keeper of sex because they have the vagina and when they are sexual peaking in their 30s they are lookin’ for some romantic fantasy shit they masturbate too, while dudes just masturbate to porn and it’s all physical.
I went on to blame the media for making guys look out to be assholes because that’s my default argument when trying to get a man-hating woman to show me her tits. I also told her that I blame the media for me not wanting to fuck my wife because after seeing an Episode of Roseanne where the Connors make sexual references or touch each other, it makes you never want to touch a fat woman ever again, despite how easy they always are.
Either way, here’s Joss Stone on set of her new movie kissing a girl because lesbianism is in right now and I am totally down with watching it, even if I know the girls are drunk and just want attention.
BONUS – Some High Tea action of Joss Stone With Elton John on Set