Beyonce is a shape…round….but not in Shape….despite being featured in Shape.

I know that is a confusing statement, that I can translate for you, since I wrote it.

Beyonce is fat, sloppy, a mom and photoshopped for a magazine called Shape…that is about fitness, and people who are actually in Shape, but I guess they make exceptions when it comes to big A-Lister powerhouses, because it sells copies. Especially when controversial.

I hate how she’s trying to be a sex pot, trying to compete with Rihanna who makes her husband more money than god, something we can assume has led to Beyonce stepping up her game, by stripping down her clothes and as much as I generally love that desperation. I’m not digging this, but I’m still willing to try jerking off to it, to challenge my masturbation abilities.

It’s not self rape if I cum…but even if I cum, Beyonce is still the fucking devil.

Posted in:Beyonce