I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

2013

01

Apr

Emily Osment Instagrams a Bikini of the Day

It upsets me that no one has done any background or investigative research into my allegations that Emily Osment is just Haley Joel Osment dealing with falling off the deep end when no one thought he was cute anymore, you know when his appeal as the young boy in all the Steven Spielberg movies fizzled out thanks to puberty, leaving him sitting at home trying to mastermind how to pull this shit together and have a second chance, leading to some Amanda Bynes in She’s the Man / Jonathan Brandis in Ladybugs / pretend you’re a girl, pose in your bikini cuz dudes are blinded by bikinis, and ride out your fame for a few more years…..I guess no one bothers, cuz he’s always in a bikini, which goes back to my previous point, guys are blinded by bikinis, and that’s all that fucking matters, until you end up going home with him after a lot of drinking only to find he’s pre-op , not that that would stop you, it’s not gay if there’s titty….

Posted in:Emily Osment

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