Dakota Johnson is the plain jane virgin in 50 Shades of Grey, a movie that is going to be as massive as the Twilight Saga, because it’s the same middle of the road, bored in their life, housewife who has never had an orgasm, who doesn’t even realize her life sucks, who is going to buy into the lie that it projects…because they already have masturbated to the content…

You see, us seasoned perverts are used to the whole S&M sexed up world, it’s what we live, making 50 Shades of grey amateur, low grade bullshit…but like most things that don’t deserve success…billions will be made…and this Don Johnson / Melanie Griffith produced girl will be the captain of that movement…she’s like one of their coke filled used miscarriages left on the pool house carpet back in the 80s that survived…which fascinates me more than her role in the movie…or her look that is kind of…totally…fully fucking boring..

All this to say, I wonder how she got the job…

Here she is in Vogue..

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