I forgot that 50 Shades of Grey happened, probably because I don’t buy into all the hype of a mainstream romance novel, when I know that porn exists, but more importantly, that far better written and more provocative smut exists, while this whole storyline just seems way too fucking cliche…and the only thing good it did for the world was make a bored housewife a lot of fucking money, some movie studios a lot of fucking money, and made a lot of women you’d never want to see cum, cum for the very first time…I don’t know, I write romance all day, the whole thing is silly…

Now if they cast someone who wasn’t so basic, homely, and boring to play the innocent girl…maybe I’d be down with the sex…

But I can list of 10 movies that I am sure are more erotic that didn’t get nearly the same marketing…that probably have way more authenticity…because really would anyone want to devour something that looks like this…I mean I’ve got no boners loooking at this, I am sure I’d have no interest in maintaining some dominant relationship with her…I mean a hot 18 year old out of college into this kind ot thing maybe, but this…fuck that noise..fuck her once while drunk..thats it…move onto the next…don’t make a movie about it…

Posted in:Dakota Johnson