I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

2015

06

May

Selena Gomez is a Mexican of the Day

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Selena Gomez, which explains why she’s got fake tits, as most Mexicans have shit tits, at least that’s what my friend who only fucks Mexicans told me, it also explains her weight gain, because at 20, all systems shut down turning most Mexicans into a neckless Mayan….all boxy and fertile…I mean they have kids at 14…so I guess she’s living up to that…unlike Selma Hayek and Alba and Longoria who are also Mexicans, but I guess less genetically predisposed to look like every Mexican woman I’ve ever seen in any Mexican village thanks to Hollywood and millions of dollars…that Selena doesn’t get because she’e been famous since she was 5…

Either way, her, unlike every other celebrity, and asshole on your social media who celebrated Cinco De Mayo is not racist, because she’s allowed, it’s her heritage…and licking tacos clearly makes her happy as fuck…it is comforting in these sad times of being rich and famous….

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Posted in:Selena Gomez

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