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Archive for the Mariah Carey Category

2014

10

Feb

Mariah Carey’s Solid Dress of the Day

Mariah Carey may be old but she still brings it to the fucking stage and by bringing it I mean her ridiculous tits that her tween gold digging husband probably encourages her to bring to the stage so that his friends go “holy shit, your mom has huge tits, you lucky bastard”…and not “dude you married Mariah Carey, that bitch was hot in 99″….because as we all know if you focus on the one asset you know you have…like massive tits or a round ass..it makes the rest of you negligible…

I still like her better when she had lost her mind, was on sucide watch, before babies and family and Nick Cannon moved in on her to trap her into what she assumes is love…but I mean..she’s still got it going on…at least in terms of huge fucking tits…which counts for everything…I mean I don’t even think it matters if she sang…or if she can sing…she’s good.

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Posted in:Mariah Carey

2013

23

Dec

Mariah Carey Winter Bikini Dog Walking of the Day

At least one person is excited or shocked that Mariah Carey posted this picture of her in a bikini in the snow walking her dog, because it’s so scandalous, obscure, outrageous, attention seeking, inappropriate especially terms of celebrating the birth of Christ…to some even weird…and awkward…

While I just think it’s shocking cuz of what her old, fat, mom body looks like…it’s like stick to singing and push up bras in low cut dresses girl…just because you’re man is still horny for you cuz he used to jerk off to you in high school…and motherfucker fucks you everyday – doesn’t mean the rest of us want in on this shit…keep your intimate moments at the ski lodge to your fucking self….

That said, I am from Canada, and I understand the concept of winter hot tubbing, it happens all the time, it’s probably even happening somewhere snowed in now…it’s no big deal…but when Mariah Carey does it…it’s definitely…big…

I rarely say this, but girl put your snow suit on, you’re gonna catch cold…no seriously…put your snow suit on..it’s gross.

TITS.

Posted in:Mariah Carey

2013

08

Oct

Mariah Carey’s Bra Pic Selfie of the DAy

I like to think this is the best use for Mariah Carey in the last decade….a little bra selfie like she was a teen girl trying to fit in amongst he friends..by recruiting more followers on her instagram…because she takes the hottest pics…

I mean without her face or mom belly….and a solid focus on her bustiness…it’s like it isn’t Mariah Carey at all, making this whole experience all the more tolerable…you know it keeps things untainted by pre existing anger, hatred and emotions….

I kinda like her better when she lost her mind, but any girl seeking some male attention via homemade erotica…is good enough for me…

Posted in:Mariah Carey

2013

04

Jul

Mariah Carey Wishes You All a Happy Fourth of July of the Day

Nothing says “I love America” like Mariah Carey in an American Bikini….

I guess the only way to express how I actual feel about this..mom in her 40s staying relevant thanks to her team of publicists posting shit like this…that I assume is photoshopped…is this video of a guy getting choked the fuck out by another guy for flirting with his wife, cleary white trash, where I’m the guy getting choked out…

Thank’s Mariah…

Posted in:Mariah Carey

2013

28

Jun

Mariah Carey’s Being Patriotic of Macy’s

I would like someone to photoshop a dick in where the MIC is….because her facial expression is one I like pretending she’s making before taking a load on her face from some record exec who was in his 60s and owned Sony music who she married back when talent wasn’t enough to get famous.

I’m not interested in any of that Nick Cannon shit, so make the dick white and Jewish, like she pretended to like when she was coming up…

And while you do that, I’ll watch this video of her Popped Dress Almost Gives Me Boners…of the Day

To see more of her being patriotic for Macy’s CLICK HERE

Posted in:Mariah Carey

2013

19

Jun

Mariah Carey Bikini for the Internet of the Day

Mariah Carey did this photoshoot in her bikini that she posted to the internet because no one told her that she’s 100 fucking years old.

The good news is that the end result looks like some cheesy fucking shoot that took place back on a Miami spring break party in the 90s, or for the high school yearbook shit, with masterful graphic design shit, you know when she wasn’t 100 fucking years old…almost tricking me into thinking it was taken back when she mattered…before a bunch of kids…

Posted in:Mariah Carey

2013

18

Jun

Mariah Carey is on a Boat in a Bikini of the Day

Mariah Carey was on a boat, and despite what the date her birth certificate suggests….she got into a bikini…

I wonder if this is another example of her manic episodes that I thought Nick Cannon and their twins helped get under control…

Or maybe, this is all thanks to the meds making her feel good about herself, and at the top of her game and sex appeal, even though pushing 40 usually requires a little more of a one-piece…or even an 1890s style swimming outfit…

Luckily for her, all I see is titties in a white bikini, and that shit excites me proper.


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Posted in:Mariah Carey

2013

06

Jun

Mariah Carey Too Old for This Outfit of the Day

3 Days ago, Mariah Carey felt that she wasn’t too old, or chubby to attend some Hot 97 concert event wearing this outfit, and thank god for that.

Sure I may be late on this, but I blame not giving a fuck about the whereabouts or doings of Mariah Carey.

I mean she’s pushing 40, she’s happily married and a mom, she’s just not in my wheelhouse of things I bother paying attention to…

But sometimes, like a homeless person you normally ignore, trying to poke you with an AIDS syringe at the bank machine, the people who are in the woodwork, manage to find a way out….

Here’s the video….


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Posted in:Mariah Carey

2013

10

May

Mariah Carey’s Motorcycle Erotica of the Day

I have heard that older chicks love riding motorbikes because they make them cum. All the machinery, adrenaline, vibrations just hit their tired vaginas better than any man could, you know since it’s some massive hitachi magic wand, with more than just a plug in, with it’s massive engine….but usually biker chicks are disgusting, and the idea of their soaked through panties disgusts me, you know because their tattooed up, white trash tattoos scare me….

But for some reason, seeing mom Mariah making a comeback in her 40s, like she was 20, dressed in skimpy clothes, doing twerks, simulating orgasm and grinding up on the motorbike, isn’t as fat or aggressive as I’d think, and she’s actually lookin’ hot…and that just weirds me out.

Posted in:Mariah Carey

2013

16

Apr

Mariah Carey Blowdrying Her Hair Porn of the Day

Here’s a new fetish of mine – Mariah Carey in a tight dress pretending to do her own hair, even though you know this high maintenance diva has a hair stylist on staff and never leaves the house without her, because that’s just the way celebrities are.

But I guess it’s nice to pretend, I do it every time I have sex with my wife, you know by pretending it isn’t happening, or pretending that smell is just the garbage I forgot to bring out, filled with rotting meat and not unhygienic pussy I’m at least an inch deep in….

Either way, here’s the pic

Posted in:Mariah Carey

2013

03

Apr

Mariah Carey is a Mermaid Sent from Heaven of the Day

I’d say Mariah Carey is a mystical creature sent from heaven with a voice of an angel designed to save the fucking world, but I’m only posting these pics cuz that booty, mom of 2 pushing 50, is fat and stuffed into a tight dress like a sausage, or my penis in a beer bottle, and for some reason I find it mesmerizing.

Sure she was better in her bi-polar suicide insanity, cuz insane girls fuck better, but when it comes to Mariah Carey, I’ll take whatever I get….and usually ignore it…except for today…today…I’m down.

Posted in:Mariah Carey

2012

28

Nov

Mariah Carey Tits for X-Mas of the Day

Tis the fucking season for fat chicks singing with their tits hanging out for the birth of our lord and savior Jesus Christ…where we are encouraged to spend our money and get in debt and do all things totally unchristian for Christmas….like masturbate to this harlot as people make amazing commentary to her performance……

I love the Holidays….Seriously….

Posted in:Mariah Carey

2012

26

Jul

Mariah Cary’s Promo Pic for Idol is Amazing of the Day

Mariah Carey is the new America Idol judge and this is the photoshopped masterpiece that reminds me a bit of Toddlers in Tiaras and a bit of a drag show and a bit of a wax museum exhibit because let’s face it…this is up on some serious clown shit….and I love it….

The real question is how American Idol is still on TV after all these years of failure…but I am hoping Mariah Carey is the final nail in the coffin….sometimes sinking ships are fun to watch….

Posted in:Mariah Carey

2012

30

Apr

Mariah Carey’s Insane Mom Cameltoe of the Day

When I think of childbirth…and the affects of childbirth….you know something I sum up as “mom pussy”…..this is kinda what it looks like in my mind…and thanks to Mariah Carey, I can really get a visual of all I knew existed but pretended didn’t exist cuz the moms I know in tight pants are the fit ones smart enough to not jack their shit up this hard showing the world a long, drawn out, meaty and obscure entity that is better left in loose fitting pants…..I don’t know if this is gross enough to make me sick or if I should try to jerk off to it as challenge to my desensitized self…but I do know it’s representative of all things wrong with the marriage between birthing and spandex……enjoy..


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Posted in:Mariah Carey

2012

24

Feb

Mariah Carey Avoiding Upskirts for Charity of the Day

I think the public service in all this is that bitch was trying to prevent an upskirt…because as much as I love upskirt on even the most battered pussy…I don’t think the general public can handle the kind of crazy going on in this fat baby making older box….but as someone with heart disease and who is going to die from heart disease…I should be more positive about her chairty and focused less on her awkward pussy cover up…

Posted in:Mariah Carey