I had a Christmas Miracle this weekend. I was walking home from the Mission where I was doing some Christmas shopping for my girls, because I am on a budget and on the walk I noticed a Range Rover with a tree strapped to the roof. I moved quickly and used my lighter to burn off the ropes that tied it down, got the tree off and ran home with it. Unfortunately running for me is walking really slow and the bitch with the Range Rover totally busted me. I was a little embarrassed and told her the story of how I don’t have a job, how I am an immigrant, how my wife is fat and dying and how I run an unsuccessful website. When she asked what the website was called, I told her, and she freaked out. It’s one of her daily site visits and she gave me the tree and asked for an autograph. She’s reader number 12 but I like her the best because she made my family’s Christmas Miracle come true and she didn’t press charges and now we have a luxury rich person’s tree in the middle of this shitty one-bedroom apartment.

Speaking for Christmas, here are some pics of Kate Moss Topless at the beach I fucking love this woman and I stole these pics from someone who stole from someone else who stole from some Photo Agency. It’s a fucking Christmas Miracle. That’s the Story I heard.

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