All you internet experts are going to rip into me because I have no idea who Kelly Brook is. I was sure she was the bitch in the Burger King commercials, but that’s another Brooke. What I do know is that she’s on Vacation, which is pretty creepy considering I have no idea who she is and she’s rockin a bikini with her big ol’ titties and relatively hot ass. I am usually drawn to tight bodied chicks because I am married to a fat thing, but the tight bodied chicks kinda look like dudes, so it’s nice to see some curvy girl who looks softer than my pillow, which isn’t saying much because it’s about 10 years old and has no more bounce left, but at 4 am, I am not so good at analogies…in reality I am never good at analogies….

Speaking of not being good….my friend told me that we should do stepTV episode of us going into an abortion clinic trying to get them to give us abortions or something. I thought that idea wouldn’t be funny. What would be funny is to puncture holes in people’s condoms to get the girls they banged knocked up and videotape the process. You know them getting the “we’re pregnant call” then going through the abortion convincing and ending up in the abortion clinic. It’d be my own kind of documentary. My friend said that’s why I am creepy. So I thought that standing outside an abortion clinic and interviewing girls going in and leaving would be gold. A little before an after action and he said that was sick….On the way in ask what brings them there today and on the way out ask if it was all they dreamt it would be. I was really just joking about the concept cuz I don’t think the content would be good, it’s a little too private and I am sensitive to people’s needs, but on paper it was a hell of a lot better than his idea.

Either way, here are the Kelly Brook pics…

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