The word on the street and by street I mean Internet because I don’t get out much so it’s the street to me, is that Lohan is dyking out with some nasty looking celebrity DJ named Samantha Ronsen or some shit. I have heard of this bitch before and even messaged her dirty things on Myspace when I used to have it but I don’t remember much of those days, I blocked them out like a molested teenager because they were the low point in my internet career.

I have nothing wrong with party sluts dyking out, because watching 2 girls shower together is hot to me. It’s all pretty standard, bitch gets fucked over by dudes over and over again, has daddy issues and has pretty much fucked half of hollywood. Now she figures it’s time to explore the other side, and by other side I mean labia, so she jumps on the first bitch who looks like she has a dick that she can find.

Since Lohan is a party slut and banging the DJ is what party sluts do, the whole situation makes sense. All she had to do was get on a plane and surprise her lover at the party and she’s pretty much guaranteed some strap on dildo, double sided dildo, scissor position action. When Lohan is ready to get with dude’s who stink and have penises shaped like vagina, I’ll send in my application, if I am not too lazy, which is pretty unlikely and that’s how this post is going to end. Cuddles.

Posted in:Lindsay Lohan|Unsorted