I’ve been a LOHAN Advocate for as long as I can remember.

From starting the site, to getting text messages from someone who pretended to be Lohan.

Our one-sided relationship has been barely memorable…but it happened.

What I do remember is that through it all, mainly her falling off and moving to the UAE to avoid paying taxes, is that I always knew there would be a comeback.

If I wasn’t so lazy, I would go through the archives to prove that I have said that LOHAN will win an OSCAR one day.

It appears she is working with Shailene Woodley on some movie that’s more high profile than her shitty Christmas movies she’s got back into acting with.

I doubt this is the comeback role for her, the OSCAR win, but when she proves that she is not a liability to the film industry and maybe even reliable, they’ll tap into the childhood trauma mind control they have in her brain, and put her to work like she’s Nicole Kidman…

These super human gingers, like Nicole Kidman, do 10 movies a year, it doesn’t make sense, but when you’re a clone, it adds up…

THE POINT IS…Lohan may be menopausal, her ass old and in WHITE leggings….that don’t fear getting their period….her VAGINA not obvious in those leggings, but we’ve seen it in its crusty prime…so don’t need to see it now.

BUT SHE IS BACK….BABY…

Posted in:Lindsay Lohan

The botox faces of the internet scare me…

It’s like demonic puppet coming to life after midnight, ready to eat our souls, looking for children’s blood to keep them younger….

These self involved, vain, narcissistic women who are willing to destroy their faces and turn themselves into some plastic looking sex doll, not even the high quality sex doll, make me uncomfortable….

I’ve seen botched strippers and hookers over the years, but they are on a budget and doing the best they can with their self hatred….

When rich and famous whores like Lohan are doing this kind of thing to themselves, I get it on one level, trying to keep up appearances…but it doesn’t make it any less terrifying.

I am a Lindsay Lohan fan, I mean, not really like there’s much to be fans of, other than her fire crotch she’s likely lasered away….

But I’ve believed in her and always said she’ll win an Oscar…and she will…..

It just may be for playing a dummy that comes to life to fuck its ventriloquist , some Pinnochio meets Mannequin hybrid…

She’s still go them titties.

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Lindsay Lohan

I hear there’s a year 2000s revival. All the 40 year old hipsters are mad that their culture is now a costume for the GEN Z’s….

Since I still think it’s the early 2000s,I don’t need to jump on this trend, I am this fucking trend…not that anyone will notice…

Since this is era is a trend, here’s some PEAK LOHAN moments in PAPARAZZI that shaped the fucking world and turned her into a Dubai residing tax evading Muslim with a British accent…

LOHAN is always a win to me.

Posted in:Lindsay Lohan

There was a time when I was doing a Lindsay Lohan death watch because she was pretty rough looking….

This was before she moved to Dubai, where she was swapped out with a more muppet looking clone of herself, unless that’s just the natural aging process that happen to rich middle aged women and strippers from all the botox and fillers they use to combat that rot….

The good news is that like a bulldozer doing road work, Lohan remains in our life….

Sure, it may not be her, or if it is, it’s not as compelling or interesting as the original sexualized Disney kid with the tits and fire crotch who got chewed up by the industry after being lesbian before it was a thing…

It is probably just AI keeping that legacy alive….

But to us, even AI Lohan is worth sexualizing like old times, because she represents a good time, maybe too good of a time, based on how it battered the fuck out of her….RIGHT…

Posted in:Lindsay Lohan

I feel like I wouldn’t being true to myself or this website if I didn’t do at least one post of Labubu Dubai Matcha Pilates Freaky Friday……Lindsay Lohan…

For those of you who don’t know, Lohan was a bit of an ongoing gag with the site when it was first created.

We would do the Lohan Fact of the Day, where our fake pervert lawyer who went onto run Pornhub would post Lohan facts.

The idea was that Perez Hilton had Paris Hilton as his hook, so we needed something poop culture…..

This evolved to weird places, where I landed Lohan’s phone number and would call her, leaving creepy stalker messages as a joke, when you could joke about rape and killing and other creepy things….

I’m pretty sure I was calling her “Fire Crotch” on the site before Ashley Benson’s baby daddy Brandon called her that in public, because I’ve been calling ginger’s fire crotch since the 80s when I learned they had orange pubic hair. I’m not saying I am that influential….I’m just saying I used to talk about her pubic hair before it was cool.

Eventually, it led to Lohan texting me good morning messages for about a week before Lohan was taken out of my life forever when I was blocked and deleted…this is like 15-20 years ago and I was even included in what became a public meltdown with her girlfriend at the time because she was doing dyke shit…it was all pretty hilarious.

In the VERY short period of time I was connected with her, I tried to recruit her into social media trolls, where we’d manipulate the media in amazing ways, but she didn’t bite. The celebs didn’t see the power of social media trolls and wanted to be left alone….or thought they were too high profile..

The reality is that if she did sign-up to my plan, it would have changed the course of my life and I’d be all Hollywood and rich by now, but she didn’t, so I remain in the gutter….

I don’t blame Lohan for my failures, I just think not pitching her right was one of my most high profile failures, and being great at failing is being good at something.

I don’t bother paying attention to Lohan in her old age / wife years, not out of bitterness from 100 years ago, I just never actually cared about celeb pussy.

I still this she’s a legend. Lindsay Lohan, especially in that prime time…epic.

She’s back in the media mix, with her Freakier Friday Disney smut, a journey back to her handlers…check out the brusies on her arm…it may get them all paid huge…..who knows…she seems too robotic, medicated, boring and the Freakier shit than Friday is the face….but luckily I’m just here for the Lohan titties….

Posted in:Lindsay Lohan

In the greatest news in the history of news, during this dark and horrible 5 year news cycle, our girl Lindsay Lohan is back..

She’s clearly got a handle on her face injections, BOTOX treatments and overall wellbeing because the LEGEND is looking better than she has in a few decades.

For those of you who know, when I started this site it was at the early stages of the blog era of blogs, there were only one or two blogs outside of this one.

PerezHilton had just started, maybe JustJared existed, WWTDD.com was around and a couple of others…

Our crack team of experts thought that since Perez Hilton had Paris Hilton as their mascot, we’d do Lindsay Lohan. That’s was the extent of the thought process and a long and sordid love affair of me pretending to be obsessed with LOHAN began….

If you’re wondering, it’s a great strategy to

Since she moved away, married, had kids, opened a beach club, fell off from the Hollywood Machine, I’ve been consistent in saying that that girl will win an Oscar when she decides to make a comeback.

At the time, I was planning on being the person to pull her out of the gutter, to brush the soot off her face, to help cleanse her of all her baggage, to wash and cut her hair like a Pretty Woman meets Extreme Makeover….with a script I wrote for her in hand, because in this fantasy, I write Academy Award winning scripts…all to give her the part I wrote for her of a crackwhore survival story…sucking the right dicks out of the gutter….a story of redemption.

Since that never happened, I don’t know how to write and I forgot that as my plan because I’m very lazy and talentless, she’s doing Freaky Friday 2 with that dude Jamie Lee Curtis, which I am sure will be as shit as Freaky Friday 1 and no Oscars will be won…but this is a starting point.

Not that I’ve ever seen any Lohan movie besides The Canyons Prairie Home Companion – RIP Garrison Keillor a #MeToo victim no one noticed got #MeTooed…..but I know winning an Oscar is a load of bullshit and can be done…

So the point of the story, Lohan at 40 years old…is BACK.

Posted in:Lindsay Lohan

Lindsay Lohan has been pretty off the radar over the last 10 years or more. I guess Hollywood abused her aggressively and she had to run to the middle east to sort it all out, where after opening her beach clubs, jacking up her face with injections, touring the party scene like she was Tara Reid, developing some weird accents, barely maximizing the Social Media machine or the direct to consumer billions of dollars an icon like Lohan could command….she’s landed on her feet with a husband and a kid….

For those of you who are out there, it’s probably past your bedtime granny, but you’ll remember that when the site launched, 20 years ago, PerezHilton had Paris Hilton, so I ran with Lindsay Lohan, she was 18 at the time.

I didn’t really think she was amazing, since I hate all celebs, but she grew on me as I kept it a constant theme because why the fuck not….

At one point in time, she was sending me text messages wishing me a nice day and I thought, for all the perverted, creepy, since creepy is my comedic jam, shit that I’ve said, this bitch and her hot tits with transparent nipples is pretty nice…obviously that ended without ever being sexted by her….not one single butt hole pic, but she was a lesbian at the time and well, I hate lesbians….for OBVIOUS reasons…at least for sexting purposes…I am sure some lesbians are funny, amazing and great and construction, plumbing or fixing broken down cars…

Anyway, since she’s stopped texting me, she didn’t feed me any great exclusives, she didn’t invest in this site like I wanted her to but I still decided to only praise Lohan and her weird family, they don’t need more bullying from assholes on the internet, especially those who want to celebrate her tits.

I’ve said and still believe she will win an Oscar one day, probably not for this IRISH WISH movie she’s promoting or the FREAKY FRIDAY SEQUEL Jamie Lee Curtis is tucking her dick into her boxers to participate in….

She’s not a fucking joker child star, she just hasn’t tried to get that Oscar…

Now, I don’t pay attention to celebrities, or old celebrities, or even look at Lohan since that ship has sailed for my broken heart all those years ago…but I still think she is the best there ever was a legend who the industry tried to destroy….who will win that Oscar one day.

I just saw these pics of her in some dress, still rockin some tits, now mom tits and I’m feeling more validated in my LOHAN WINNING AN OSCAR because LOHAN will be BACK…but maybe I’m just being nostalgic to tits gone by…

Posted in:Lindsay Lohan

Lindsay Lohan is a legend as far as I’m concerned. I don’t actually give a fuck about Lohan and never really have, but if I had to choose a celebrity favorite from the last 15 years of doing this site, even though I think all celebs are losers despite how much money they have or how many fans they have, none are cool…..Lohan would be top of the charts.

In an era before instagram, when paparazzi ran shit, she brought consistent big titty entertainment.

There was a time that I used to TEXT Lohan, because that’s just how nuts she was…I’d wake up to my phone blown the fuck up from her insanity and despite being weird, it just showed that her insanity was more than just you saw as she was self destructing…it was in her crackhead core…

I BELIEVE in a Lohan comeback and a Lohan Oscar nomination. I even have ideas for Lohan to break back into the world….but these leaked pics, that are old pics, but still her tit pics, are a good start to remind you just how nuts she was….and despite being nuts…how representative of an era she was….and despite looking like she’s a 50 year old mom….she’s still Lohan, will always be Lohan and I will forever support anything she does. She’s a legit super star in an era of garbage influencers…so Shout Out to Lohan and her big titties we’ve all seen before….and that some of us have done cocaine with….

Posted in:Lindsay Lohan