I haven’t been following the Britney Spears story at all because I honestly don’t give a fuck. I am too self absorbed and I find the shit pretty fucking boring because it’s got nothin to do with me. I don’t really care that she’s completely insane or that she’s lost her kids and has been skipping court dates. I guess it’s sad that she’s probably goin to end up killing herself or institutionalized and that someone like her isn’t really safe to have on the streets and that her life is so fucking chaotic and intense when it could have been so relaxed and retired by 23 because she fucked the wrong dude who took her for a ride and ruined her making it like a scene from a really bad movie, all while I sit at my computer in my soiled underwear eating a muffin.

Either way, I heard she’s banging a paparazzi and I am jealous of him, because I’d want to be on the front lines of this shit but that’s just because I think my life is dull and I think it’d be fun. I always had a thing for vulnerable girls, they are easy to win over and K-Fed again and it seems like homie may have already hooked that up, because she was seen out buying a pregnancy test.

I like the way she thinks, if the motherfuckers won’t let her have her babies, she’ll just make herself some more.They can’t stop her tattered womb from doing what it’s supposed to do and that’s the kind of ambition you need to become a success. You don’t take no for an answer, you keep going back to the studio til you find that hit, even if it means fucking an immigrant with a camera to make it happen.

It reminds me of the time girl refused to go on a date with me, so I just climbed her fire escape, crawled into her room and stole all her dirty panties…because let’s face it, that’s all I really wanted her for…and I just wouldn’t take no for an answer….so in a Lot of ways I am like Britney Spears and that’s pretty exciting. Want to see me dance?

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