I was at a friends watching TV and celebrity expert Perez Hilton was on talking about Lindsay Lohan and how she’s not a full dyke, but more of a girl in an open relationship with a girl who still hooks up with dudes on the side but keeps that shit under the radar because it will make her look bad. I figured who the fuck cares about who she’s fucking, since it’s not me, and in my life have never really paid much notice to girls who girls who aren’t fucking me are fucking because it’s frustrating. I’d rather just look at their big ol’ tits and think about them bouncing in my face instead of the face of who they are bouncing for, it’s less abusive to my self esteem that is already pretty much non-existent.

What I do know, is that Lohan has and will remain the only celebrity I would ever kick it with, but that’s just because we’re connected at the soul and you can’t really argue with destiny…

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