Hugh Hefner's New Shannon Twin Girlfriends are Criminals of the Day

2008

Oct

Hugh Hefner’s New Shannon Twin Girlfriends are Criminals of the Day

Hugh Hefner kicked out the old spokeswomen for Playboy Girlfriends because their contract was up and he’s in with the new. His new “girlfriends” who are pretty much nothing more than girls who go to events with him andd live in the Playboy mansion to help market the brand and probably don’t have sex with him, but could if he really wanted them to, because he pretty much picked them up at a bus station and they had no money, food or place to go because he saw the potential that two hot blondie twins would have for his business, especially if he pretended to be in a relationship with them, since fucking twins is the ultimate cliche male fantasy, that works perfect for his brand.

Their names are Kristina and Karissa Shannon and who really cares, dude’s in his 80s and is living the fuckin’ dream, whether the girls are nothing more than a set of desperate sluts with daddy issues or not, really makes no difference, because they are profiting off him as much as he is profiting off them, so it’s all fair in the end…which is the same logic I used to use everytime I paid 20 dollars for a blowjob off a drug addicted street whore. Life is all about the trade-off and now these Shannon Twins are pretty much famous….

It turns out that these poor, desperate sluts from Florida are in fact criminals, leading me to believe that unlike working at a bank, the background check at Playboy is based solely on your tits. this is the story……

We just talked to a relative of one of the victims and here’s what they tell us went down. The twins went out after work with one of their Wing House co-workers, Erica Civello, to a house party. Kristina allegedly started arguing with Erica, and Karissa came up behind her and hit Erica over the head with a bottle of beer and they both “jumped her.” Erica suffered a concussion. TMZ

I stopped reading the quote at “after work with one of their Wing House co-workers” because that just re-affirmed my opinion on trashy sluts from Florida being fucking perfect, the only thing that would have made this story better would have been if they were cashiers at Wal Mart because that’s just the kind of girl I dumb and desperate enought believe me when I pretend I’m going to give them everything they want in exchange for sex, not like those self respecting educated girls with careers who take themselves to seriously and catch onto my lies and here are some pictures of them naked….