This Christmas season, I found myself listening to that “Do They Know It’s Christmas Cuz They are an African Tribe who Don’t Own TVs, who don’t celebrate our religious holidays, who are probably dying of AIDS” song and decided to look into adopting an AIDS baby, you know to feel better about myself…..

Luckily, since I don’t have money, credit cards, or a real interest in sending 30 dollars a month to some Christian brainwashing program, an African Aids Baby came to me over facebook:

This is what he wrote:

I am an African boy who saw your “surreal yet funny by demeaning self and using cool unusual insults i dont care about myself or anyone else” site or blog or whatever it is you do on my malnutrishioned internet on my starving welfare needing computer given to me by a church in America because America and every other place does good things for Africa because us Africans are no good.

Anyway, i decided to go do some witchcraft stuff on you in a place called Abujah, Nigeria, because thats what us Africans do other than AIDS and death and crime and tribal dances.

So i threw some African bones on the dirt and gorilla cum infested ground and hissed your name out and wishing you die through some cruel way.

I like your blog and the girls you put on because i masterbate to your material atleast 24 times a day, because those girls are sexy girls and us Africans have huge sex drives cuz no means yes here.

PS – Can you adopt me like you were Angelina Jolie and I was the AIDS baby, since I am….

I figured since I already taught him so much about the English language, like how not to write, like run-on sentences, like bad jokes, it was only natural to adopt him like I was Angelina and give him his own post….

He chose this Lady Gaga picture cuz she’s showing her vagina, and when you are used to fucking zebra’s, actual human vagina seems ok, especailly if it is white, cuz black dudes love white girls…That said, this is what he wrote:

I don’t know about you, but these days when I watch porn, I look for the dirtiest “shit in a cup and watch my girlfriend eat it” type of material. You know, the type of shit that makes you want to vomit but you still watch it because that other soft core MILF shit no more gets your AIDS Baby dick hard coz u have seen it too much.

Here is the small dick having monster Gaga in a nude photo, showing her small monster dick, not that her small monster cock gets in the way of you liking it, and by you I mean me, because in Africa, our dicks are so much big that small dick like this might as well be a vagina.

(i couldnt attach the pictures from coz i dont know how to use the internet becoz im an African and live in a hut made of shit, grass and other AIDS babies, but at least i have the internet)

That said, I’m just glad to help some dude in a hut with a church funded computer and dial-up internet live his dreams as my new adopted son for less that a coffee a day…

For this is Christmas and this is what I’ve done…..I’m a modern day hero…Just call me Mother Teresa…Seriously…I kinda like that whole slutty nun thing…and apparently so does Gaga, cuz we’re both just so fucking obvious….

Everyone say hello to Motembooogo. He may post again if he doesn’t get eaten by a lion or die of Ebola.

For this is truly The Christmas Miracle…

Posted in:Lady Gaga