I was fucking with Kate Upton on Twitter….you know saying seductive shit like “I can’t wait for your ass to catch up to your dumpu tits” and she blocked me…I feel like 140 characters or less don’t give me the chance to explain myself or that historically 18 year olds with big tits all end up really fat by 30, it’s like their just awkwardly developed in a good way, and shit takes a turn for the worse when their matabolism slows down….It’s just the way it is…

The fact is that she’s not 400 pounds now, and she’s at her prime, so I’m down with seeing as much as we can of her before that horrible time comes, and it will come, it always does, but you’ll forget her name and that she existed by then…

So take it in Upton, you’re on borrowed time.

Posted in:Kate Upton