I am - Lohan Stalker Post of the Day

2006

May

I am – Lohan Stalker Post of the Day

Here I am, back at the stalking shit. I think it’s really funny and I know that no one else does, because the people I email don’t respond to me and because you readers don’t comment on these, but I am still going to do it. To me, it makes for the best celebrity posts ever.

Who gives a fuck if Lohan didn’t get into Danny Masterson’s club night, or if Paris Hilton and some Jew Pussy named Brandon Davis is laughing at Lohan’s Pussy (video).

After watching that clip I have decided that I will beat that little fucker up the day I meet him. I know exactly the kind of person he is and I hate that kind of person. His bad jokes urk me and the fact he’s dissing Lohan makes me ever more angry. I rarely get so involved in any clip I see, but after watching that, I seriously wanted to take a bat to his pussy of a face. I am not really Lohan’s stalker, I just pretend I am to her friends and colleagues, but I was seriously affected by this. Lame disses aside, Lohan is way fucking cooler than Paris and probably wouldn’t laugh at these kinds of jokes that just aren’t funny. Dude calls Lohan “poor” and says she’s got a 7 foot long clit, really fuckin’ funny, cunt. I guess it’s DrunkenStepfather Vs. Brandon Davis now, the war has just begun and I will win, Jew Boy.

Point of the story is orange pubes never killed no one, Paris’ HIV will….and she’s only laughin at the fire crotch joke cuz she knows what it’s like when it burns when you pee.

Enough of the anger and back tot he real point of this…. I emailed Masterson cuz I figured he’s probably the best one to reach out to when it comes to Lohan, but I am usually wrong with these types of things….

Dear Danny of that 70s Show Fame who is also a DJ and Radio Host,

I know you are friends with Wilmer. I also know that Wilmer slammed Lohan. I wanted to know if I sent you out a block of clay, could you convince Wilmer to get back to his Latin roots and get him to start scuplting a life size model of Lohan’s vagina. I would really totally put that up on a shelf in the StepOffice, which doubles as the public washroom at the mall (they have wifi here).

I was going to get you to ask him for a used condom, but I know celebs don’t use condoms, you’re invincible to AIDs, look at Magic Johnson and Paris Hilton.

If you can’t do that for me, her personal email and phone number would be fine.

With Love,

Jesus Martinez
DrunkenStepfather.com

Bonus: Lohan Arriving at the Race to Erase MS (a couple days ago)