So Stalking Lohan has done me no good. She’s never called me back, she’s never filed a restraining order, she’s probably still never heard of this shitty website…That means the concept is not working, which is no surprise because working is something I am not really good at either so I guess I should have expected this turn out…

If you’ve never heard of this feature before, it’s where I leave Lohan an answering machine message as a lame attempt to make myself famous, get some access hollywood coverage and maybe even land a FOX TV deal like that cunt who made Myspace the Movie…

It’s 5 am and I am drunk, my cigar is wet and falling apart and I may or may not suck at life, I guess that’s for you to figure out on your own, which shouldn’t be so hard since you have lots of time on your hands proven by the fact that you are even reading this…don’t you have nothin better to do with your time than watch my Lohan Stalking….Virgins…you’re all the fucking same… Cuddles….

PS – The sound quality is shit…are you surprised?

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