I am - Heather Locklear trying to Prevent a Vagina Slip of the Day

2007

Jun

I am – Heather Locklear trying to Prevent a Vagina Slip of the Day

Heather Locklear may be old, but she’s a good kind of old. She’s the type of old who has a lot of money and very little to do. I don’t think she’s been on TV or in Movies in the last 5 years, but for some reason is so vain that she spends her days with personal trainers and diet coaches to ensure that she’s still got some work in her. Maybe the reason she does that is because she built her career on being the hot blonde bitch guys wanted to fuck and got casted in whatever the fuck she’s done to try to lure in male audiences so we could tolerate her useless shows while our wives and girlfriends made us watch them. That pressure is a good thing, because she doesn’t want to retire and is maintaining that sex appeal. I guess it’s working because when I look at these pictures I get annoyed that she’s taking preventative measures to not expose too much….I guess what she doesn’t realize is that if a little panty saw the light of day, every fucking blog would be up on this shit and she’d be the topic of discussion at the water cooler in an office near you, possibly landing her the role of a lifetime.

I was at the stripclub this weekend because I accidentally joined a bachelor party that was walking by me while downtown. I was trying to get a few dollars to buy beer and they liked me enough to invite me along. They were drunk and when the bachelor got on stage to be humiliated, the strippers took all their contempt for me grabbing at them out on him. He ended up completely naked and I had never seen that kind of abuse during one of these shows. Dude was drunk and ended up pushing a stripper to the ground and running off stage, tripping, and landing on me naked. It was an interesting way to meet the guy I was partying for. Either way, there were 2 young chicks from New York there with their boyfriends, both were hot and part of the Britney Spears, Paris Hilton, Lohan generation where being a slut is cool. They were so into the stripping that when my new found friends asked if they would give him a lap dance, they said sure. I ended up tagging along to the booth with them because I don’t give up any opportunity to see non-strippers in a strip club strip. I watched them dance around for 2 songs and all bitch did was show us her fucking bra. I kept asking for some nipple or ass and they weren’t having it. They were a lot like Heather Locklear holding back on all of us, and I guess the only think I can say is that it is a pretty frustrating and disappointing feeling. Cocktease.