I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

2007

17

Aug

I am – Hating Mimes of the Day

Every city I’ve been to in the last 3 years has had at least one of these fuckers. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t travel that much, but it seems like this is the trend in street performing. There are motherfuckers who spray paint themselves gold and pretend they are a statue or an Academy Award. I saw one motherfucker who covered himself in plaster to look like a real statue. I saw another fat lazy dude in Chicago once who was sitting there with his gangster buddy smoking cigarettes in preparation of his stupid street show that consists of him standing still until someone throws money in his bucket, where he will change positions and freeze until some other motherfucker gives him money then he’ll change positions again. I

I remember trying to make one of these motherfuckers dance because he was creeping me out with his no moving bullshit and I took a pocket full of nickels and threw them in his bucket one by one, so he’d switch position and I’d throw in another one and he’d switch positions again….it lasted for about 1 minute and then he got mad at me and stopped moving again…

I realize now that trying to look up this mime’s skirt is the easiest way to break her character. Or I guess you could grab her titties or really any form of sexual harassment will get her moving. The sad thing is that I’ve had women in bed who moved less than this, and yes they were still breathing and yes they were roofied up, but that’s only because that’s how I seduce women….it’s easier than going to the gym or having good conversation or buying them drinks…

Either way, here’s the video….

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