In an act of desperation to find something decent to post today while hung the fuck over, I came across these Charlize Theron pics. Now they aren’t that interesting to look at, but if you really are desperate you’ll look really closely and see some barely there nipple action, but you’re used to being barely there, with your small penis and all.

I think Charlize Theron is hot and I remember learning about her in the 90s in Playboy. The first time I saw her was while taking a shit at some dude’s house who had the Playboy she was in next to the toilet. So despite relating this bitch to taking a mean shit, I did find her amazing to look at and any excuse to throw her up here is good enough for me….

Speaking of desperation, I was at a bar a little while ago and this group of young girls showed up in matching t-shirts. The guy I was with started chatting them up and it turned out that they were launching some shitty clothing line and were totally willing to do anything to get ahead….I told my friend to tell them that he ran a big website and makes people famous everyday and that he’d be able to help them hit it big. My friend decided to tell them that it was a shitty name and moved on with his night by drinking away his pain with me by his side. An hour later, I happened to be next to the girls and this asshole who had been hustling them since we left them was running every ounce of game he could find on them and they weren’t having it. I unfortunately became a prop in his pick-up strategy when he grabbed me and tried ballroom dancing with me. I didn’t know how to react because he was bigger and more drunk than me and because I was never used as a prop to get a bitch in such a homosexual way in my life…but I finally got away from him and the girls thought it was so funny that all four of them left with him. I was used, emasculated and a felt like a fucking fag, but the positive in all this is that my dick doesn’t work so I had little use for them and I couldn’t get turned on by the dude being so close to me so I didn’t have to go home to some unresolved sexuality issues.

Point of all this is that Charlize Theron is the kind of African you racists want to see on all fours…

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