Lookin’ at Kate Moss topless on the beach is about as exciting as looking at pictures of my dirty flacid penis, not because my penis is exciting or some half naked, middle-aged, coked out supermodel, even though I pretend it is when I am taking showers, but because it’s as equally washed up and she is and about the same amount of people have seen it. Not to mention, it’s probably the same size as her retarded supermodel nipples, which isn’t saying much about my capabilities of making girls feel me in their throat when I am slamming them, but I have come to terms with having a smaller penis than a 3 year old. What it is saying about Kate Moss though, is that her nipples are like two 3 year old’s penises, which is something you probably like and the reason why I don’t like you.

Here she is topless in Mexico with some dude who’s gotta be gay, but I generally stereotype skinny, groomed men in speedos as fags, even if they’re not. Maybe dude’s just pretending to be gay to get closer to Kate Moss’ vagina, not that he’d want to, because based on her facial expressions when she’s checkin’ out her junk, it looks like Pete Doherty may have forgotten some of his junk in there and now it’s rotting. Maybe it’s just a rash, in which case I’d totally apply topical cream on her, with my mouth, but that’s just because I’m dirty and a gold digging whore, even if the gold I’m digging for turns out to be flakey flesh wounds.

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